Managing the Money

I always knew planning the New Jersey wedding of our dreams would be expensive. Time and time again, New Jersey has been ranked as one of the most expensive locations to get married in. (In 2012 The Knot reported that the average wedding in the United States cost $28,427 but the average New Jersey wedding cost $48,496), Maybe it's being situated between two big cities, or just New Jersians general flare for opulence, but the wedding industry in this state is no joke. For a very long time, I did not think I would be able to afford the wedding of our dreams. Fortunately, we both make decent salaries, but living in New York City and paying off our college debt does not leave much wiggle room. I always figured that when it came time to plan this wedding of ours, we'd have to scrimp, save, and perhaps go the non-traditional route. However, less than 24 hours after getting engaged my mom gave me some surprising news - her and my dad had figured out a way to pay for this wedding.

I am unbelievably grateful for the sacrifices my parents are making in order to host this wedding. I never expected this, and I'm blown away and overwhelmed by their generosity. Without going into specifics, the budget is going to provide for a very nice "traditional" wedding without going overboard. When I say traditional, I mean in the sense of traditional to what my family and friends in the Northeast expect. A Saturday night reception, open bar, five course meal, dancing, etc. While this is by no means the only way to have a wedding, it is just what we're used to and what our families would like. While the budget will allow us to have a beautiful wedding, I by no means want to plan on using this budget in it's entirety. I would like to contribute where we can. And at the end of the day, if we can leave some of the budgeted money for my parents - I'd be a happy camper. My parents did not get to have the wedding they wanted, so it is very important to them to give that to me. And I appreciate that more than they'll ever know. But at the same time, I don't see the need to spend every last cent they have just because we can. Also, I know how things can add up and sneak up on you at the last moment. My biggest fear would be to go over budget, so I hope that by planning on coming in under budget we'll at least manage to stay within budget. 

Hey - maybe New Jersey weddings are so expensive due to the rising cost of hairspray? I'm sure Teresa could tell us all about it!

Teresa and Joe Guidice representing an average New Jersey wedding SOUCRE

 

How are we going to manage this budget of ours? The first thing we did was decide on what was most important to us. A few days after our engagement, I received a package in the mail from MOH Sugar. The package contained two wedding planning books that I immediately set to reading. The first piece of advice was to sit down together and discuss what we wanted out wedding to feel like, look like, and what was most important to us. Coming up with this list was actually pretty easy for us. While reading said wedding planning book in bed one night, I put it down and started the conversation with him. Luckily, we agreed on the same things. We wanted the wedding to be beautiful, romantic, fun, and personal to him and I. We also were both set on having the wedding in a desirable location for our guests. With these goals in mind, we decided that the Reception and Photography would be where we might "Splurge". And when I say splurge, I don't mean go over budget, I just mean that these two items would have the majority percentage of our budget. They also are what we have put the most thought and effort into finding. I easily collected over 50 proposals from different reception venues. I only visited 4 locations, but after looking at packages for so many venues I knew when we found our venue that it was "The One". I'll talk more about it later and tell you why it was "The One". For photography, I would love to go crazy and hire one of the insanely talented photographers I drool over in wedding blogs, but many of these superstars start at $6,000. I just can't justify spending that much. So what's a girl to do? Research, research, research. So far I've found some photogs whose work I LOVE and who fit in the budget. We haven't decided who we'll book with yet, but this has definitely been a decision I've put a lot of thought into. What are some decisions I'm not going to waste a lot of time, money, and energy on? To name a few: flowers, stationary, videography, dj, transportation. We want every item on that list, but I'm not going to pull my hair out looking for the perfect florist/calligrapher/etc. We'll find whoever meets our budget and can do the job well.

Another way I'm trying to keep this budget down - not spend stupid money. What's stupid money? Money that just doesn't need to be wasted. Here's one small example - "a signature wedding scent". When I hear about Brides spending $100 on a scent they will wear for one day, I want to gauge my eyes out. I mean seriously, this just sounds ridiculous to me. I always knew I'd wear my favorite perfume, Angel by Thierry Morgan. It's the perfume I wore when we first started dating. I recently ran out, and he's even commented to me that it's his favorite and always reminds him of those early days back in the Summer of 2009, when we were two kids running around Manhattan and falling in love. Luckily for me, Living Social was running a deal on Angel and I scooped it up for less than what I’d pay at any department store. 

Angel - My "special occasion scent"

So while handling money and creating a budget hasn’t necessarily been a fun aspect to wedding planning, it is a necessity. How have we been keeping on tracking? Google Docs of course! I’m sure I’ll do a whole post later all about my love for Google Docs. Using Google Docs has allowed me to map out what we have budgeted for each expense, what we’ve actually spent, and what we have left to spent. It’s also helping us keep track of our deposits and upcoming payments!

How have you been keeping track of your budget? Any tips or tricks you’ve found useful?

Vintage Jersey Shore: The Vision Goes To The Beach

 For those of you following along; I had envisioned a rustic-chic vineyard wedding for The Groom and I. I pulled together "The Vision" based on the idea that a vineyard wedding would be a way for us to have a beautiful, romantic wedding yet stay on budget. However, after touring a few vineyards I realized that this option really wasn't as affordable as I had hoped. Before I fell into complete despair, The Groom stepping in and found away that we could get "The Dream". The Dream being the beautiful Jersey Shore wedding I used to daydream about, but never thought we could afford. The Groom had found a few venues that were within budget, and located in the beautiful beach town of Spring Lake, NJ. Intrigued by this idea, The Groom and I set up appointments on a day we could both take off work and coordinated with my parents to meet us in Spring Lake for another day of venue shopping. 

  While I waited for the day of beach venue shopping to arrive, I got my pinterest on. My ideas for a vineyard wedding didn't totally blend with a Jersey Shore beach front wedding, thus I had to make a new vision. And so I developed The Vision Goes to the Beach, not just my latest pinterest board but also my new frame of mind. The Vision Goes to the Beach began with making my vineyard-inspiration beach appropriate, but over time I let go of the vineyard look and instead held onto the overarching aesthetic I wanted regardless of location: beautiful, romantic, and fun. Instead of deep plums, I'm thinking soft lavender and lilac. Instead of emeralds and moss greens, I like soft pale greens. And it wouldn't be a beach wedding without hints of blue mixed in, right? More important than the colors, I want the wedding to reflect classic Jersey Shore. I'm thinking of using salt water taffy as favors, maybe renting a trolley to transport the bridal party, and incorporating vintage beach postcards. I want our guests to feel like they are on the ultimate Jersey Shore vacation of days gone by. I guess we could call this vision Vintage Shore? 

XOXO

The Vision Gets a Makeover

In my last posts, I went over The Vision. The Vision of how I want our wedding to look and feel. The Vision was a combination of what I wanted for our wedding, and what I thought we could realistically have. While a wedding in an Italian castle would be one hell of a beautiful vision, I know that was not something we could do. So, based on what I thought was a realistic dream, I compiled The Vision. Why did I go with the rustic-vineyard vision? Well, I knew that South Jersey had an abundance of vineyards that would make for a surprisingly affordable wedding. Researching these vineyards, including Renault, Valenzano, and Tomasello, I thought to myself - "You know what, I could plan a really beautiful, and unique, wedding here - that I could actually afford." And thus, The Vision was born. 

my rustic-glam vineyard chic vision

  
But I should rewind. Before I had The Vision, I had The Dream. The Dream is everything I ever hoped and wanted in a wedding when I was a little girl. What does The Dream involve? The Jersey Shore. No, not this kind of Jersey Shore:

This kind of Jersey Shore:

 The Jersey Shore of days gone by. The Jersey Shore of salt water taffy, long walks on the boardwalk, Victorian mansions, Italian ice, The Jersey Shore my Ossie and Poppy used to take me to as a child. The Jersey Shore my family escaped to any opportunity we had. The Jersey Shore where Rob and I had our first vacation as a newly minted couple just one month into our relationship, and where I realized I loved him.

 Why didn't my vision include the Jersey Shore? Honestly - I didn't think we could afford it. I thought it was just a dream. A dream reserved for brides with much deeper pockets then mine. And then, something crazy happened. While I was in the midst of building The Vision, and setting up appointments to see vineyards, The Groom suggested we revisit our dream of a Jersey Shore wedding. And how did I react? I chewed his head off. And maybe cried. Maybe. I didn't think we could afford it. I also felt like I had worked so hard to come up with this rustic-vineyard vision and I didn't want to start all over again. I know. That's ridiculous. I made a freakin' mood board and felt like I was too far along to change direction. Luckily, The Groom understood where I was coming from and promised to do more research so I could get a better idea of what a Jersey Shore wedding would entail.

 While The Groom did research on possible beach options, I visited vineyards with my family. Were they gorgeous? You betcha. But, were they affordable? Nope. What we quickly realized was that planning this vineyard wedding was not going to be as affordable as I hoped. In fact, as we started to add up all the extras (full open bar, chair covers, bridal suite, etc) the vineyards became down right pricey. For example, we almost booked Renault. My family and I loved the resort-like setting. The hotel was lovely, the grounds were too die for, and there was even a golf courses on-site for The Groom to squeeze in a round pre-wedding. The base wedding price was about $78/pp. A steal for New Jersey! But this didn't include a full open bar, and only included a 4 hour reception, when we felt a 5th hour would be necessary. And, don't forget tax and gratuity. All of a sudden, my "affordable" venue was no longer in the budget.
 
 Upon realizing how my "affordable" option was no more, I turned to The Groom's Jersey Shore idea. While I was traveling back from venue hunting with my mom, I went over a wedding package The Groom had received from one lovely beach-front hotel. As we talked it over, a new vision started forming. Here was a location we could afford, in a setting we had always dreamed of. Could this actually be the best option for us? Were we going to somehow get the wedding we always dreamed of, on a budget we could manage? Stay tuned....

The Vision Board

As I explained in my last post, I'm envisioning a rustic but glam Fall vineyard wedding. I've always loved purple and want to create a beautiful palette of plum and lavender with some natural moss green to create the laid-back beauty I'm going for, with pops of gold to bring in the glam. I threw together this vision board to bring The Vision to life. 

The Vision

I can't lie - I've been planning this wedding in my head for about two years. But don't think I'm completely crazy, at the time I was working for "the-online-wedding-registry-company-from-hell". Or, MyHellHole.com as I affectionately refer to them. During my time at MyHellHole, I spent a lot of time scouring wedding blogs, WeddingBee, The Knot, etc. Suddenly, my head started filling with ideas and inspiration. This was long before Pinterest, so what was a girl to do? E-mail myself all these genius ideas of course! Over the last two years I quietly e-mailed myself anything I came across that sounded interesting and stored these emails in a Gmail folder. 

It's completely normal to create your own monogram pre-engagement right?

When Pinterest finally debuted "secret boards" I pounced. Finally I was able to create and save all my ideas in one visual place. Without looking like a total nutbag. Around December of last year, The Groom had all but confirmed to me that we would become engaged sometime in 2014. In between walking on air and keeping my fingers freshly manicured, I did research on what I really wanted this wedding to look like and what would be a good representation of us. 

And thus... The Vision was born. 

Source: Style Me Pretty

The Vision is what I hope and dream this wedding will look like, feel like, capture, and reflect. It is not finalized, and will continue to evolve. It also may get scrapped completely as we move forward with wedding planning. However, The Vision is giving me parameters and is helping to guide me in piecing together this little wedding of ours. And - bonus, The Groom is completely on board with The Vision. Did he sit around dreaming about what our wedding would look like for two years? No. But he does have a sense of style and taste, and he's loved everything I've shown him so far.

Source: The Perfect Palette

So: I give you The Vision. A romantic, Fall, rustic yet elegant vineyard (or vineyard-esque) wedding. Featuring a lot of purples, bronzes, golds, and other autumn elements. I do not want to limit myself to two or three colors, but instead want to work within a general palate and create an overall ambiance for the wedding. These are the images I am using as a reference tool. Eventually I'm sure I'll create my own mood board, but for now these have been very hand. 

Source

Source

Source

 This week I start the venue hunt. I'm visiting two vineyards in South Jersey. I'm hoping these venues fit the bill so that we can lock down a date, and The Vision can come to life. 

xoxo

I SAID YES!

May 26, 2013 - The happiest day of my life (so far!).

Monkey and I were invited to go up to Maine to spend Memorial Day Weekend with two of our best friends, BFF-Puppy and Big Guy. We've been up with them a few times over the years, and it's become one of our favorite destinations. Here we are on our first trip up there, November 2010.

 Our first day, Saturday, BFF-Puppy and I spent running errands and shopping while the boys relaxed and play with the dogs. Saturday night I made a point to tell Monkey that I really wanted us to all spend some time together Sunday, little did I know that this fit perfectly with his plans. The next day we all decided to head out to Two Lights State Park. 

  We'd never been to Two Lights before, and was guaranteed to be pretty interested. We headed up there and enjoyed a lobster lunch before decided to take a walk along the water. As we were walking on these rocks overlooking the water, Big Guy and BFF-Puppy went off to "look at the Lighthouses and take pictures". Monk took this opportunity to walk me on down closer to the water. At this point he started saying very sweet things to me. My heart started racing and all of a sudden, he was down on one knee asking me to marry him. I really don't even remember him getting down on one knee because a wave of intense joy and happiness completely washed over me. Suddenly I was crying and shaking, and nodding vigorously because I couldn't speak yet. Eventually I said YES and looked down at the gorgeous ring on my finger. 

 

We stood there and smiled and kissed (of course) for a bit. When we were done I looked over and BFF-Puppy and Big Guy were snapping pictures of the entire moment. I am so glad they did so, I will cherish these pictures forever. After taking a few more pictures, we decided to head into Portland. In all our years of visiting Maine, we'd never been! I also took this time to ask BFF-Puppy to please be a bridesmaid! I knew I couldn't possibly get married without her by my side. 

 We traveled into the city and found a charming wine bar. Sadly, the wine bar wasn't open yet. However, BFF-Puppy in true Puppy-fashion exclaimed that we just got engaged and we HAD to have a glass of champagne!! They took pity on us and allowed us to sit at the bar and celebrate. I'm so grateful they did. It was the absolute perfect way to celebrate.

After our drinks, we picked up 8 lobsters and headed home to cook up a lobster feast and drink a few more glasses of champagne. I called my family, and MOH-Sugar, but decided to keep it to ourselves after that. As much as I wanted to tell every person I'd ever met, I wanted to at least have one night to keep it between us. It felt like I was holding in a beautiful little secret.

The next day, we made the rest of our phone calls and notifications on the 6 hour drive back to New York City. The drive flew by as our phones were ringing off the hook and we shared the story with all our family and friends.

It was truly the best weekend, and best possible proposal Monk could have ever come up with. It was more than I ever could have dreamed of. I'm so grateful we got to spend the weekend celebrating, especially with two of our best friends. It has completely set the tone for what we want our engagement to be, fun, romantic, and surrounded by our friends and family. 

I can't wait to begin planning our big day together!

xoxo

Wedding Dreams: A Gatsby Inspired Wedding Mood Boards

I couldn't design a Gatsby Wedding and not make a few mood boards right?! What would be in the fun in that. Here is my Gatsby Wedding Fashion Mood Board:

Gown, Headband, Shoes, Bridesmaid Dress

Oheka Castle, Invites, Tablescape

XOXO